Dan Vs Feelings
by FeelDaBURN8
Summary: Dan is dealing with the impostor once again. But this time, the impostor is trying to be genuine. Can Dan put aside his hate and try to reason with him, or will Dan end up trying to get revenge? Rating may go higher in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Am_ I the only one who finds Jerk shipping adorable? Only me? Oh, okay then..._

_I do not own Dan Vs._

_*yells at the sky*** COPY**_**_ RIGHT!_**_ *dramatic music plays*_

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><p>"Dan..." a voice sang. "Oh, Dan..."<p>

Dan grumbled and turned over in his sleep. _"Stupid wake up calls..."_

_Wait! Wake up calls?!_

Dan shot up with wide green eyes and came face to face with a someone he thought he'd never see again in his life.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" he yelled.

The blue-eyed impostor simply smiled. He was literally sprawled on top of Dan.

"I just wanted to visit my favorite little person."

"What do you mean _little_?!" Dan exclaimed, pushing *Dan off of him and onto the floor with a soft _thud_.

*Dan giggled as he got up and dusted himself off. "Angry as ever."

"How long have you been here anyway?" Dan asked, almost afraid of the answer.

The impostor stroked his chin and smirked. "Since one in the morning."

Yep, Dan was terrified. A man who once stole his identity and almost drove him insane broke into his apartment at one in the morning. He was screwed.

"W-Why are you here? What do you want?" Dan asked, trying to mask his nervousness with anger.

"I already told you." *Dan smiled. "I wanted to see you."

Dan went red. Like, beet red. This reaction only made *Dan smile in victory.

"Aw! Is little Danny blushing?"

_SMACK!_

A pillow met the impostor's face. "Well, that wasn't very nice."

"I know. That's why I did it." Dan smirked. "Now, shoo! And put some pants on!"

*Dan looked down at his boxers and smiled. "I wonder how that happened..."

* * *

><p>Dan bursted into Chris' house.<p>

"CHRIS!"

"Oh, hello Dan." Chris sighed, sitting on the couch with Elise curled up in his arms. "What is it this time? Think the kids down the street are zombies? Got attacked by a pizza and want revenge on Italy?"

"Shut up, monkey!" Dan yelled. "And it wasn't any of those things! It was that identity thief! And this time, he broke into my house at one in the morning!"

"Oh..." Elise sighed. "I thought it was something serious."

"It is too serious!" Dan stomped like a child. "When I woke up, he was pantsless! What if he did something to me?!"

Chris scrunched up his face. "Okay, that _does_ sound serious..."

Elise shook her head. "Oh, come on you guys. I'm pretty sure that the impostor isn't twisted enough to do those things to Dan of all people."

"I don't know whether to feel better or insulted." Dan stated. "But I do know that you guys have to let me stay here tonight."

"What?!" the couple cried.

"Yeah, I don't feel safe with that wacko breaking into my house. Now if you excuse me, I have to get Mr. Mumbles." Dan said as he left the house.

"Are you sure you want to have a baby?" Chris asked Elise.


	2. Chapter 2

_Still don't own Dan Vs._

_*grumbles and writes "copy rights" on the list*_

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><p>When Dan opened the door to his apartment, he didn't expect it to look so clean. He immediately knew the person responsible.<p>

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

The impostor skipped out of the bathroom with a pink apron on and yellow rubber gloves.

"Oh, hello Dan!"

"Get out!"

The impostor laughed. "Cheerful as always. Do you love what I've done to the place?"

Dan was about to snap. "NO! I DO NOT LIKE IT! EVERYTHING IS OUT OF PLACE! YOU'RE RUINING THE SYSTEM!"

*Dan patted the angry man's head. "Now Dan," he said. "You have to understand that you can't yell at people after they clean your house. I'm trying to make a friendly gesture."

"I thinking about a certain gesture that I could give you right now."

They were soon interrupted by Mr. Mumbles, who was meowing her way into the living room.

"Aw, Mr. Mumbles." Dan cooed, his attitude changing instantly. "Did this criminal do anything to you?"

"No..." *Dan answered.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" Dan snapped. "Come on, Mr. Mumbles. Chris offered to let us stay at his house."

"Why are you staying there?" the impostor asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, my apartment is being taken over by criminals. Good day, sir." Dan said as he slammed the door.

_Stupid impostor, _Dan thought. _Cleaning my house, breaking in, could've raped me in my sleep..._

"Mrow!"

"Don't worry, Mr. Mumbles." Dan assured. "We'll get that criminal out of our living space."

Dan put her in the passenger's seat and buckled her in. Then he sat in his own seat and continued ranting.

"Or so help me, I will eat his first-born child right in front of his very eyes!" Dan looked over to Mr. Mumbles and noticed a look of discomfort on her face. "What? Too much?"

* * *

><p>"I'm here!" Dan announced, walking in Chris' house, unwelcomed.<p>

"Oh, you're back." Chris noticed.

Dan nodded. "Duh! Now, fix Mr. Mumbles some lunch."

"The cat?"

"Mr. Mumbles is not just a cat, you uneducated minion!"

"I know, I know." Chris said, rolling his eyes. _"Mr. Mumbles is a citizen of the United States and should be treated as such."_

"And don't you forget it." Dan said as he walked away. "Oh, and make me a sandwich."

Chris sighed and went over to do his best friend's bidding.

"Elise!" he called. "Dan is here with Mr. Mumbles!"

"Mr. Mumbles!" Elise yelled as she went over to pet the tabby. "I missed you so much!"

"Ahem." Dan cleared his throat.

"Oh, hi Dan..." Elise said, not looking away from the purring kitty.

"Ugh!" Dan sighed as he sat at the table. "This guy is the worst!"

"The impostor?" Chris asked, giving Dan his sandwich.

"Yeah! When I came home, he cleaned my house! Who does that?!" Dan yelled. "And he had the nerve to call it a _friendly gesture_!"

"Maybe he's trying to be nice." Chris said, taking a seat next to the jerk.

"MY ARSE!"

Dan was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket.

"Hush, monkey!" he said to Chris before picking up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Danny!" he heard a familiar voice say.

"HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?! AND ARE YOU STILL IN MY APARTMENT?!"

"One, I always had your number. And two, yes, I'm still here."

Dan started to shake with rage.

"Is that him?" Chris asked.

"I TOLD YOU TO HUSH, MONKEY!"

"Is that Chris?" the impostor asked. "Tell him I said hi!"

"No way! And get out!"

"I can't do that." *Dan said, having a slight purr to his voice.

Dan shuddered. "Why not?"

"Because I need to change these curtains! How can you live with your curtains not matching the room?"

"YOU LEAVE MY CURTAINS ALONE!" Dan barked.

"Too late~!" the impostor sang. "Already put new ones up!"

Dan groaned and slapped his forehead. "We will talk about this in the morning!"

"Okay! Ta-Ta!"

"SHUT UP!" Dan yelled before hanging up.

Dan grabbed Chris by the ear and dragged him out the house.

"Come, minion." he said. "We have shopping to do!"


	3. Chapter 3

_If I owned Dan Vs., it would be back on the air._

_And stuff gets pretty saucy in this chapter XD_

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><p>The next morning, Dan was laughing maniacally as he walked up the steps of his apartment building. He was carrying a box, and only lord knows what evil things it held inside.<p>

Before he could open the door, it swung open, revealing the impostor on the other side.

He eyed Dan and his maniacal grin and smirked. He put a finger on his chin and thought playfully.

"Let me guess," he purred. "This is an attempt to get rid of me?"

Dan nodded. "And it's gonna work, too!"

*Dan moved out the way and gestured him to come in. "Do your worst."

Dan stomped inside and dropped the box on the table. He ripped off the duct tape and opened the flaps, revealing ropes, pepper spray, and a jar filled with hornets.

The impostor peeked into the box and smiled. "The hornets are a nice touch, but I'd be lying if I said that I was terrified right now."

Dan scoffed. "I didn't even _do_ anything yet!"

"Dan," the impostor sighed. "Why can't we just make peace? I already got my revenge and you got yours. Aren't we even?"

Dan stomped his foot. "I WAS _ALREADY_ AT PEACE UNTIL _YOU_ BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!"

*Dan sighed. "At least let me take you out to eat."

Dan's eyes widened at the mention of food. "You're paying?"

"Of course, it's the least I can do."

Dan looked down and thought about this predicament. On one hand, he could go out to eat for free with this deranged criminal. And on the other hand, he could just attack him right now.

The second option sounded tempting, but he was getting pretty hungry...

"Well?" the impostor asked.

Dan nodded his head. "Fine. But I'm picking the place!"

_Attacking him will be Plan B, _Dan thought as he tapped the pepper spray in his pocket.

* * *

><p>Dan was sitting in a booth in Burgerphile. Of course this was the place he wanted to go to. It was close and the food was decent. But he still couldn't understand why his counterpart was offering him food. Maybe it was Dan's paranoia, but he couldn't help but get the feeling that the impostor was after something more than "peace".<p>

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a tray being placed on the table.

"You got my burger?"

"No cheese, like you said."

Dan took his burger out of the bag and inspected it, as if he was looking for poison or a razor blade inside of it. Once he realized that it was perfectly edible, he nodded. "This is acceptable."

The impostor smiled. "Glad to hear that."

"So," Dan said between chews. "You're still telemarketing?"

"Sometimes, not as often. Still getting revenge?"

"I don't get _revenge,_ I get justice!" Dan corrected. "Big difference."

The impostor chuckled and watched Dan devour his burger.

"Where's your food?" Dan asked.

"Wasn't hungry."

Dan arched a brow. "So you're just gonna sit there and watch me eat? That's kinda creepy."

"So you rather me do something else?"

Dan felt the impostor's foot brush against his knee under the table. He shuddered a little but thought nothing of it. It was just an accident...yeah.

"Yeah, as long as you stop staring at me, I guess." Dan said, shifting himself up more.

The other male nodded and brushed Dan's leg again, this time brushing it over his inner thigh.

Dan's eyes widened. He knew that this time, it was no accident. He was going to protest until he felt the impostor's foot brushing his no-no area ever so slightly.

"What's wrong, Dan?" the blue-eyed male smirked, noticing the other's discomfort.

Dan was frozen, a moan about to escape his throat. But he couldn't do that here! Not with all the couples and children!

Instead, he decided to try to shift away from the impostor. But as if he was reading Dan's mind, his foot followed, brushing a little harder.

"Urgh..." Dan grunted, mentally cursing the man in front of him.

Was this why he wanted to bring Dan out to eat? To potentially molest him and embarrass him in public?

Dan was panting now, a bead of sweat formed and went down his beet-red cheeks. He squirmed more and tried to hold in his moans.

"Do you like that, Dan?" the impostor purred, flashing him a charming smirk.

Dan managed to pull himself together and pulled out his pepper spray. He held it in front of the impostor's surprised face and sprayed him dead in the eyes.

With a cry, he impostor covered his face and fell to the floor. Dan saw his chance and ran out the door.

_Stupid boner, stupid boner, stupid boner, _he thought frantically, running into his apartment and slamming the door shut.

He sank to the floor and sighed. He had no idea which was weirder: the fact that the impostor did that to him or the fact that Dan enjoyed it.


	4. Chapter 4

_Still don't own Dan Vs._

_But I do own this candle!_

_*inhales deeply* Ah, cinnamon!_

_Oh, yeah...WARNING, FOR IN THIS CHAPTER BE YAOI. *maniacally laughs*_

_**MOM**: You need help._

_**ME**: HAHAHAHAHA. I know..._

* * *

><p><em>Feeling.<em>

That's the only word that registered in Dan's mind.

_Feeling._

What exactly was he feeling? Physically, he felt fingers slide from his mid stomach down to his thighs; and soft lips traced around his neck.

The feeling was sensational. But emotionally, he was confused; irritated even. Not that it was a surprise.

Dan's eyes shut slowly, all while releasing a heavy moan. He couldn't help it. All the lust, the contact, the feeling.

_Feeling._

"How are you feeling, Dan?" he heard a familiar voice say.

_No, it couldn't be!_

"YOU!" Dan yelled as he shot up from his bed, panting heavily. His head turned frantically, scanning the room for the impostor. But he was no where in sight.

Confused, Dan looked down at his sheets. Were they..._wet?!_

Cursing, Dan got out of bed and changed his sheets, but not before he changed his boxers.

But was it all a dream? Dan thought it felt so real. He looked at his dirtied sheets and grumbled. Taking out his list, he wrote _wet dreams_ which was right underneath _chopsticks_.

_You'll get yours, Chinatown..._

Dan stomped his way into his living room and was greeted with an unpleasant sight.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"Oh, hello Dan." the impostor greeted, eyes slightly pink from the..._earlier_ incident. "Sleep well?"

Dan suddenly grew pink. "That's none of your business!"

The impostor did nothing but nod. "Okay then. I made some breakfast, by the way."

Dan grumbled and went to his clean table. The sight of seeing his own reflection through it sickened him.

He eyed the plate of bacon, eggs, and ham sitting in front of him. His eyes squinted and he barked, "I CAN'T EAT THIS!"

The impostor gave an amused smile. "And why is that?"

Dan brought the plate over and pointed at it. "You think I'm stupid?! I will not eat this poison!"

The impostor stood up and placed his hand on Dan's shoulder. "I think you're being paranoid."

The slightest touch of the blue-eyed man made Dan shudder. With red-tinted cheeks, Dan backed away and smashed the plate on the floor. "_YOU'RE_ BEING PARANOID! NOT ME!"

The impostor raised a brow slightly with an amused smirk, "Whatever you say, Dan."

Outraged, Dan stormed out and went to his car, which was questionably locked.

"Oh, Dan~!" he heard a voice say. Dan looked up and saw the impostor jingling his keys. "You forgot these!"

The impostor tossed the keys down and smiled. "Tell Chris and Elise I said _Hi_." And with that, he walked back into the apartment.

Dan sputtered out of frustration. He looked at his keys and wondered, _How did he know I was going to Chris's?_

Red-faced, Dan dropped down on his knees and yelled, "FEEEELLLLIIINNGGGSSSS!"

Cue dramatic music...

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><p><em>Like it? Hate it? Have a suggestion? Let me know!<em>

_BTW, I'm hoping to improve my...ahem...Lemon scenes quite more. If you weren't satisfied with this (you little sicko, you), there will be better ones in later chapters._

_*rubs hands together maniacally* Ciao, Angel-Faces! _


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